Lifestyle

I’ve been very fortunate in my life to have been exposed to excellent input in personal growth. With many years of education and facilitating personal growth seminars, helping people achieve more of what they want in their lives, I’ve learned a few things along the way.

Today I would like to share some insights with you, hopefully something will stand out for you and you’ll gain some balance.

Most often unbalance begins in the mind. We become overwhelmed with the sheer volume of tasks that lie before us; or, we don’t believe we can get things done in time. We end up unconsciously thinking in a way that defeats us rather than helping us. These ways of thinking are called Cognitive Distortions and they can shape and/or hinder our perception of reality. Hence, we become unbalanced and might even feel “unhinged”.

Mental filtering is a form of tunnel vision where we tend to focus on only one thing or one area of life, ignoring the rest. We end up seeing only the negatives and fail to acknowledge the positives.

Then there’s jumping to conclusions. Usually, those conclusions are unjustified and not based on actual fact or evidence, but rather on feelings and personal opinions. A part of this includes assuming we know what someone else is thinking (mind reading), when we have no idea at all.

Are you blaming yourself for your problems and everything else that goes wrong in your life? It’s important to take responsibility for yourself, in fact it’s admirable, yet it can end up being a very burdensome habit-of-mind that leads to strong feelings of guilt and regret.

While this list is far from complete, it does offer some clues into how our thinking can sabotage us.

Here’s something you can use to help bring balance back into your thoughts:

Once you recognize your thinking is off-balance, stop and take a deep breath. Then ask yourself: What am I thinking about? What is it that I’m reacting to? Consider the bigger picture and view the issue from the outside, How would someone else see this? What is going on here? What is really true?

Once you’ve answered those questions, take action. What’s the best thing I can do here for myself, others, or the situation?

I’m a professional in the field of personal growth and habit change. I’m here for you and together we can find the answers you may be seeking.

My time on the Camino is over insofar as the physical presence is concerned, but I carry the thoughts and reflections inside. They are relative and have affected my life profoundly.

I’d like to share an exercise with you and just one of the many things I learned while on this trek.
Prior to leaving for Spain and even while walking the Camino, I carried and read a book by Paulo Coelho called The Pilgrimage, a biography of his own personal walk on the Camino. In the book he shares a variety of exercises he did while on his trek and I chose to borrow some of them for mine. Below is one that became very profound for me. It’s simple but very challenging at the same time.

The Speed Exercise

Walk for twenty minutes at half the speed at which you normally walk. Pay attention to the details, people, and surroundings. The best time to do this is after lunch.
Repeat the exercise for seven days.

My Revelation

Sounds pretty easy, right? Well, it can be torture if you are moving a mach speed. The idea is to try to find pleasure in a speed that you’re not used to. Coelho was advised that by changing the way you do routine things allows a new person to grow inside of you. But when all is said and done, you’re the one who must decide how you handle it.

At the beginning of the newsletter I told you I would share a revelation I had with you. Well, it was through this very exercise that I discovered something about myself that applies to everything in my life.

The terrain we experienced on this walk was varied and at times very challenging. Long, steep hills with often-times dangerous declines was the norm. It was at the beginning of our walk that I decided to try this exercise and got my walking partner to join me in it. We slowed our pace from about five kilometers per hour down to the pace I remembered from walking with my toddlers. That’s pretty slow. It was definitely challenging, especially when everything inside wants to get moving.

We walked like this for several minutes and came upon a cherry tree growing all by itself on the side of the hill. We would have missed it had we been walking at our normal pace. We stopped, picked cherries, ate our fill and carried on. Flowers, butterflies, insects … life was all around us.
But, the real clincher for me happened as we were scaling yet another steep hill. I was looking down as I walked, watching as one foot landed in front of the other and then it hit me!

I can climb any mountain before me by simply putting one foot in front of the other and going slowly.

Now, that may sound obvious to you, but I want to tell you that I got to the crest of that steep hill and I was not out of breath, I wasn’t sweating and I had hardly noticed the incline. My nature is to get the job done quickly. My Mother used to constantly tell me to slow down. I was always in a hurry … impatient and rushing to get everything done. I was especially impatient with myself.

This has turned out to be a life lesson for me. I am very patient with my clients but not so much with myself. I am learning to be patient with myself, which will have an effect on everything else in my life.

Here are seven ways introspection can be a positive tool in your daily life:

1. It allows you to notice negative patters in your life.
   Maybe you keep crawling back to that toxic relationship, convincing yourself that through all of the frustration and inconsistency, the person will eventually change.
   Maybe you’re continuously undermining your efforts at attaining the health and wellness you desire by sabotaging yourself.
   Whatever the case may be, introspection allows you to recognize these patterns, and how and why they have a detrimental effect on your emotions and outlook.
   From there, you can consider alternate approaches to these situations and eventually, migrate away from the stressors altogether.
2. It keeps you focused on the bigger picture.
   When we don’t have an overall goal in mind, our daily tasks become meaningless and increasingly frustrating. Therefore, it’s important to have a clear vision of where you want to see yourself in the future.
   Write it down if you have to, and don’t forget to continuously remind yourself of what you hope to ultimately accomplish. As a result, you will have a more positive attitude toward your current obligations.
3. It prevents you from worrying about things out of your control.
   An infuriating traffic jam, a boss who never considers your opinions, a torrential downpour when you planned a weekend at the beach — you get the idea. No matter how many times we’ve been told not to stress about what we can’t change, we do it anyway.
   It’s difficult to realize we don’t always have total control of the outcome, and sometimes, we have no choice but to adapt to unfavorable conditions.
   Introspection allows us to eventually detach from these aspects over which we have no influence, and instead, direct our energy toward things we can absolutely improve on ourselves.
4. It helps you face your fears.
   We all want to be that person who can dive into any challenge headfirst and come out successful. But, let’s face it: We’re all afraid of something.
   Whether it’s rejection, failure or something else entirely, introspection allows you to admit your fears to yourself and eventually learn the best way to handle them.
   This can be a trial-and-error process, but simply recognizing what scares you is a great starting point.
5. It allows you to clearly define happiness on your own terms.
   When are you most happy? Who do you most enjoy spending time with? What accomplishments are you most proud of and why?
   These questions may seem cliché but they hold a lot of value. By recognizing the positive events in your life, you can apply your knowledge to future goals and endeavors.
   For instance, if a quick phone chat with your best friend always lifts your spirits, take the time to do so every day.
   Or, if you feel most accomplished after independently completing a project, or sticking to your fitness routine, start to take more initiative and exert that same self-starter attitude in other areas.
6. It allows you to make decisions based on your conscience.
   When it comes to making significant life decisions, the important people in your life will naturally have opinions. However, introspection helps you make decisions based on fully understanding what is right or wrong for you.
   Make choices based on what you truly believe, without letting other people’s input sway you. While it’s okay to ask for others’ advice and feedback, ultimately, trust your gut — it won’t fail you.
   Plus, by following your conscience, you’ll, in turn, feel better about the path you chose.
7. You will finally get different results.

When we continuously go through our lives the same way, we inevitably block the chance of changing things for the better.
By becoming more self-aware, we are able to have a better understanding of what we truly want in life. Naturally, this involves making changes, whether they’re significant or menial.
Of course, nobody likes change. It’s uncomfortable and scary, and we seek comfort in what we know.
However, this is why it is critical to ask ourselves, is it worth it to take as little as five minutes out of our day for introspection in exchange for an increased chance of happiness? Most of the time, it’s safe to say you already know the answer.

I am a mother of three now-grown people, all of whom – when they were little – were amazing at asking the question, “Why”? Mummy, why is it raining? Mummy, why does it get dark? Mummy … and on it would go. I made it my practice to answer as often as I could and when I didn’t know, I’d say so.

However; like many parents, at times I also made the rather grave error of saying, “Because” and leaving it there.
The fact is that the question “Why” is the basis for all scientific processes. It’s the motivating question for research. So, what happened that we fail to ask the question these days? Perhaps it’s a lack of time on the part of busy parents, or the lack of patience. The modern education system was developed in the midst of the industrial revolution and failed to provide stimulation to excite inquisitive minds. It was designed to prepare people for factory work rather than groom scientists. Certainly some things have changed, but the basis remains.
A poll done a few years ago found that children at the age of five had a 98% creativity level, but by the time they hit ten years of age it had dropped to 20% and by the time they reached the age of 25, it was a mere 2%. Now, that’s sad.

So, how can we fix it?

I think the answer lies in the ability to reflect, specifically, self-reflect.
Isn’t it interesting that we spend most of our time thinking about everything but our own inner lives? We are usually more concerned about what others are thinking about us than we are about what we think of our own behaviors. By the way, what someone else thinks about me is, in my opinion, none of my business.
Throughout our daily lives we are in a constant state of observation and analysis – be it work related or something someone texted to us. We have become masters of obtaining data and examining it for deeper meaning or an explanation. We can think critically about all kinds of things, but not especially about ourselves.
Introspection involves examining one’s own thoughts, feelings and sensations in order to gain insight. Being introspecitive is often a rare quality in many lives, particularly young adults, and with good reason: it requires slowing down and taking a breather from the craziness and busyness of life and that isn’t always easy.
In a society fixated on fast-paced environments and a “go, go, go” mentality, it’s difficult to find the time to sit down and reflect. However, setting aside a small portion of your day for self-examination can be a lot more helpful than you might expect.

Something I learned along the French Way

During the 14-day period walking the Camino, I was faced with many periods of silence. It was during those times that I was left entirely alone with my own thoughts – with myself. I had an opportunity to watch myself as I reacted to various things presented during this time. I saw how I conducted myself and heard how I spoke.
Some of it was wonderful and some of it needed change. Being alone with myself was revealing, enlightening, sometimes disturbing, but definitely educational.
Did I emerge a different person? Probably. I know for certain that I am more quiet and resolute inside than I’ve been in ages.
It’s not that I’ve never practiced introspection – it is that it was for a very extended period of time and, when you’re walking 25 km per day and not talking a lot, well, it’s a lot of time for thinking.

You don’t have to leave town… or, maybe you do.

Introspection doesn’t have to mean leaving town. Taking a few minutes every day to reflect on life – your life – is often as good. On the other hand, if you can’t possibly find a few quiet minutes in your life, maybe a little break in a very quiet environment will be just the ticket.
Regardless, whether you start your day with quiet meditation and self-reflection for a few minutes, or find yourself in the woods or a lonely beach, self-reflection can be the best way to make the changes you need to have the life you really love to live.

I’m going to give you some ideas here to get you started on your way to balancing your body, inducing healing and gaining health and energy. My family has been consciously grounding for several years and it’s certainly something I prescribe to my clients.

The Earth’s energy is there for your taking any time, day and night. It’s free. It’s not a pill, potion, nor ointment. It’s in the ground, on the ground, and from the ground, right beneath your feet. You can have as much of it as you want … free … no limit.

Here’s How You Do It:

1. You can walk barefoot on the beach, in a park, your yard (or someone else’s yard), on sand, stones, gravel or just plain earth.

2. Ground by sitting in a chair with your feet planted on the ground, while reading a book or listening to music.

3. Dampen the earth for more conductivity and leave your feet on the earth for 30 to 40 minutes at least. Truth told, any part of your body in touch with the Earth will conduct electrons. That would include your torso, arms, legs, head … you get the idea.

4. Concrete is conductive but its effectiveness is contingent upon the amount of water beneath the concrete. A dry concrete floor or one with a water barrier beneath won’t be very effective. Asphalt is not conductive, neither is wood nor vinyl.

5. Water-wise, wading or swimming in the ocean is not only fun recreation, it’s a brilliant form of grounding. Saltwater is rich in minerals and highly conductive – several hundred times more than fresh water. Conductivity is dependent on the concentration of minerals in the water, so lake water is far less conductive, pool water is virtually non-conductive and kiddie pool water is not at all conductive due to the plastic that insulates from the ground.

6. A tree is wood and thus non-conductive. However, if you hold a leaf of the tree firmly between your fingers, you’ll be grounded. The earth under a tree is generally moist when exposed and is a good place to ground. But, tree hugging with your shoes on doesn’t do anything in terms of grounding.

If you’re interested in learning more about grounding, or Earthing as it is sometimes called, then I recommend a book by Clinton Ober, Stephen T. Sinatra, MD and Martin Zucker, called “Earthing”. Most of the technical information in this article was gleaned from this source.

Having said that, as I mentioned earlier, my family has been using grounding (including grounding sheets, foot pads and flip-flops) for several years with wonderful results.

A couple of years ago I arrived back home from a trip abroad with a serious pain in my upper back and neck. My husband suggested we ground at the beach – always a pleasure for me. We did so two times for a couple of hours each time and the pain in my back and neck was gone.

When I’m stressed, a long walk barefoot on the beach, or just sitting with my bare feet on the ground brings calm and clarity.

We’re finally here. We are now on the trek of the El Camino de Santiago de Compostella trek as you are reading this newsletter. It’s difficult to put into words exactly what I’m feeling right now … kind of a cross between super-excited and trepidation.

Our itinerary will take us to Paris for three nights and two days and then on to Pamplona, Spain where we begin the first day of our 14-day, 25-km per day walk.  The sites we’ll visit and the sights we’ll see will all be available on my Facebook page, Nurit Amichai, and also on a couple of Instagram pages – one of which is in my name.  And, of course, you can access the blogs and vlogs on my website.  I haven’t used the Instagram pages for some time, but promise I’ll be using them now – especially since some of my clients use nothing but Instagram.  🙂

I hope you’ll follow along as we take this incredible journey.

www.forthehealthofit.co.il

Facebook:  Nurit Amichai

Instagram:  Nurit Amichai

Now, just a word about the rock you see in the picture here.

There’s a tradition of taking a rock or stone with you on the Camino and leaving it somewhere along the trail.  The act can mean a number of things … leaving cares behind; marking your presence on the trail; or using it as a connecting point for change, among other things.

What we’ve decided to do it take a rock (and I do mean a ROCK), on which we’ve written a few instructions, and leave it at a point on the trail in a place where it can be seen.  Part of the instructions include the following:

Find it.  Move it.  Post it.

So, when someone finds the rock they should carry it to a new location and then post a picture of the rock on Instagram under the hashtag:  #stoneunturned

We’ll be following the journey of the rock and you can, too, as you follow me and my friend over the coming days.  We leave on June 13^th and arrive back in Israel on July 2^nd.

Be sure to comment on Facebook and Instagram!  I look forward to hearing from you.

With just under one month to go, my excitement level for this upcoming adventure is rising steadily every day.  We leave Tel Aviv on June 13^th!  I can hardly believe it.

Before I go on with this article I need to make some corrections to my last piece about the Camino.  First of all, I gave you the incorrect name of the city from which we will begin our trek.  It is called Pamplona.  The second correction is that we end up at the Atlantic, not the Mediterranean.  Forgive me for providing incorrect information.  Truly, as a health professional, that’s just not acceptable.

So, as the date quickly approaches, I’m busy ensuring I have everything I need for this walk.  That would include all of the necessary paperwork, passport, applicable other cards and my phone and tablet.  While I’m away I’ll be connecting with my clients via Skype, Messenger, or Duo and I’m so grateful for technology.

The baggage won’t be large or heavy this time around as there will be no need for multiple changes along the way.  We’ll be literally “washing and wearing” repeatedly the same things.  For a person who likes to wear different clothes every day, this will be a little challenge.  I did score some great sandals to take along for walking as well as my boots (the orange ones I talked about earlier).  Rain gear, shorts, tights and some “real” clothes for the times when I need to look like a lady …

I’ll be posting on Facebook under nurit.amichai and on my webpage:  www.forthehealthofit.co.il

Be sure to drop in occasionally to see what I’m up to, view the remarkable scenery, and hear from some of the people I meet along the way.

We’re planning a party to celebrate our departure and we’ll probably have one to celebrate our return.  I mean, what better excuse for a party than celebrating the Camino!

What About Those Who Watch the Suffering?

In an article on families of OCD sufferers, Heidi and Alec Pollard, two experts in the field of OCD, state:

“OCD is a family affair.  The toxic tentacles of this disorder extend far beyond its identified victim.”

I did a little digging and found a page from a website dedicated to helping sufferers of OCD and their friends and family.  Following is an excerpt from that page, from http://beyondocd.org/information-for-friends-and-family

Steps To A Better Life

Life with a person who has OCD is filled with conflicting emotions.  If you feel frustrated, angry, overwhelmed or hopeless, you are not alone.  Today, there are new and more effective coping strategies for dealing with OCD-related difficulties. Families and friends can now take advantage of various “tools” that are effective in improving interactions between you and the OCD sufferer, and, at the same time, can help him or her succeed in the treatment process.  Very importantly, when you interact with and/or provide care to an individual with OCD, you must take care of your own physical and emotional well-being.

First Things First

Some very important steps to help your loved one begin with you:

Learn about OCD

You will need to understand what your loved one goes through with this frequently debilitating disorder.  We recommend you visit the OCD Facts, Individuals, or Parents section of this website for more information about:

• What OCD is

You can access the OCD Facts, Individuals and Parents sections through the Home page of this website, or through these links:

• Go to OCD Facts section

Become a Catalyst for Change

We urge you to follow these guidelines:

• Help your loved one find appropriate treatment for OCD and encourage him or her to actively participate in the therapy process.  Effective treatment is the most important step in gaining relief.
• Stop enabling OCD in your household or in your relationship.  Participating in rituals with your loved one or accommodating avoidance behavior actually does not help.  In fact, the effect can be just the opposite.
• Try to establish a positive emotional climate in the home.  How you communicate with your loved one as well as the level of support you provide cannot be overemphasized.

If this sounds easier said than done, we understand your skepticism.  Beyond OCD’s mission is to help people with OCD get relief, help their families and friends develop the key skills to become agents of change and help initiate dramatic improvements for everyone in the life of an OCD sufferer.  The following sections will help you get started:

Take Care of Yourself

Before an airplane ever leaves the ground, flight attendants provide important instructions about what to do in an emergency.  One of those instructions is particularly noteworthy: Put on your own oxygen mask before trying to help anyone else.  The basic message is that unless you first take care of yourself, you won’t be able to help others.  Yet this fundamental idea is frequently ignored by family members of individuals with OCD.  And even though research has indicated that family members report some – if not severe – distress adjusting to OCD, they seldom seek the professional help they need.  Instead, they usually focus on the individual with OCD.